Have you been sucked into the December vortex? Standing in long lines, eating too much sugar and feeling like a loser because you can't afford to buy all the presents are some indications that the holidays are getting the better of you. Resist! I say. Go simple. Stay true. Be calm. It's a challenge, I know. Just the other day, as I sat wrapping gifts, I was overcome with sadness. Both my parents are gone, what little family I have lives on the West Coast and most of my friends are far away. I never had children. I live in a tiny cottage and my home doesn't overflow with several generations. My life suddenly seemed very thin to me and, I confess, I felt a little sorry for myself. And I start every day with a gratitude practice in which I carefully review all my many blessings! What is it about this time of year that preys on our vulnerabilities? I didn't really snap out of it until my husband came home and took me in his arms and talked me through the realities: I am healthy. I am safe. I am lucky. I am loved. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

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It's not news to you that I have been toiling away these last many months on a project near and dear to my heart. Fish & Bicycle, a bar/cafe and small grocery in the Western Catskills is inching towards its launch date, one pulse-elevating, sweat-inducing, thrill-delivering day at a time. (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...) We've garnered bank loans and grants, compiled our savings and delivered gallons of sweat equity, and we're still shy of the full amount we need to do a full build-out on the raw 1920s industrial building that will house our business. So we've launched a crowd-sourcing campaign to bring this labor of love on home. 

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Another month has passed. Are you the same? I'm not. I feel my roots shifting and it's exciting and scary. My jaw sometimes feels weird when I wake up in the morning and I know I have been clenching my teeth as I sleep. Change is good but it can wreak havoc. I have started to emerge from behind my desk, making forays into the world beyond just sending my words out to be read. There I am, above, serving cocktails at an event created by And North; read about it here and check out the cocktail recipes here. Saying yes to many things also entails saying no a lot. Does that make any sense? Redefining your life is a process and I feel like I am approaching a tipping point.

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Gratitude is one of the many ways we can lift ourselves up. In my quest for greater inner peace, I have come upon this notion of giving thanks regularly and often. As the German theologian and mystic Meister Echkart says, "If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is 'thank you,' it will be enough." So on a daily basis I try to say thanks for all the things I might otherwise take for granted: the clean air I breathe and the lungs that make it possible; the time to write and the hands with which I do it...start anywhere, the list is endless. I used to catalogue everything I had to do in a day first thing every morning. Sometimes it led to excitement, others to panic and despair. But it never brought me the same comfort and joy as when I lie in bed for a few moments upon waking and allow my mind to roam over all the blessings in my life. In this way, every day becomes Thanksgiving, at least for a little while.
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I threw my back out. Had a fabulous massage on Monday night and by yesterday afternoon I felt that weird incipient wobbliness (this has happened before) and soon enough I was in full-on crisis mode. I have to lie on the ground and put my legs up the wall for 30 minutes at a time—not the best position for cooking, or anything else for that matter—and thus far it hasn't helped much, so the first thing I'm grateful for is that I'm at my sister-in-law's house and not welcoming the hoards into my own. Tomorrow I'll be thankful when I look around at this wonderful family I married into, complete with adorable nephews and a mother-in-law who likes my cooking, not to mention for the gargantuan feast that will be laid out in all its aromatic glory. Our menu? Since you asked:Devils on Horseback (Dates stuffed with Parmesan & Wrapped in Bacon)Pigs in BlanketsSalami Chips with Spicy MustardCheese with Pickled RampsChicken Consommé with Mushroom RavioliTurkey Two Ways, Deep-Fried & RoastedBrandied CranberriesGingered Green BeansShaved Fennel & Brussels Sprouts SaladClassic Billard Stuffing2 kinds of GravySpicy Yams with PancettaMashed Potatoes & Celery RootApple-Cranberry PiePumpkin Custard with Candied Pumpkin SeedsVanilla Panna Cotta with Wine-Poached Apples (Winos)Chocolate Cake (for the kids)3 kinds of Cookies (brought by Mum)Life is short, life is sweet, we're so lucky to have plenty to eat. Seems excesssive, no? Hopefully no one will slip into a food coma. In case I do, let me say thanks to you now, gentle reader, for your support and encouragement. I picture you out there, clutching your morning latte or evening glass of red wine, maybe stealing a moment at your desk or while the baby's napping, and I am inspired to keep sharing with you all the things for which I am grateful so that together we can make every moment count.  I wish you all a happy, healthy Thanksgiving!
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