10.31.13 Good Grief
And yet. More often than not, the second I close my eyes and begin, an enormous wave of grief rises from deep inside, as if from some bottomless well of sorrow. It is not attached to thought but more like an involuntary spasm. Tears stream down from my closed lids. I sit with it. Keep my breath steady and calm. Because that is what we are learning to do in this MBSR course. To abandon thought, to relinquish judgment, simply to observe. It passes but when I am done meditating my mind often returns to this grief that dwells within. Will it follow me forever? I picture it like a vine that has grown over the bronchi in my lungs, like the Virginia Creeper that twines around the trees upstate. They coexist, but sometimes it looks like a contest to survive.
It's so curious: one can resist tears and "behave" very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer...and everything collapses.
And many steaming cups of this soothing and healing anti-inflammatory ginger tea are pretty helpful, too! xo
- — 8 ounces fresh ginger
- — 1 whole lemon
- — 2 large stalks lemongrass
- — honey, to taste
Slice 6 ounces of the ginger into coins and drop them into a large heavy pot. Use a spoon to bruise them. Finely grate the remaining 2 ounces and add it, along with any juice, to the pot.
Remove the zest from the lemon in strips with a peeler. Add these and the juice of the lemon to the pot.
Peel the tough outer layers of the lemongrass and remove the dark green stalks. Trim off the root ends and bash the remaining stalks with a heavy spoon or mallet to release the oils. Add them along with 10 cups of water to the pot. Cover and simmer gently for an hour.
Strain, reserving solids to make another batch, if desired. Pour cups of hot tea and stir in honey to taste. Keep refrigerated for several days and enjoy hot or cold.